January 2, 2012

How To Talk About Porn With Kids | Sexual Intelligence {featured read}

Experienced sex therapist, author, and educator Dr. Marty Klein has put together a brief blog post giving accessible and practical advice to parents about how to talk to their kids about porn.

Excerpt:
Here’s what we know: All children are sexual. That means they have sexual feelings and thoughts. [...] How parents deal with their feelings about their children’s sexuality will shape how they feel about, and what they do about, their kid looking at porn. [...]

Even parents who accept the reality that their kids are sexual and masturbate can be concerned about porn. What if it’s violent? What if it encourages values of which I disapprove? What if it’s confusing? The answer to all three questions is: it might. [...]

If your kid watches porn, he or she might easily get confused: Is that what sex is really like? Is that what most people look like naked? Do strangers really have sex together so easily? Are some people really rough with each other in bed? (This is where you explain that just as kids play games on the ballfield, pretending to be mean or brave when they really aren’t, some adults play games in bed, pretending to be bossy or submissive when they really aren’t.)

Questions like these deserve answers. And if you remember your childhood—before the internet—you know that kids develop questions (and confusion) about sex even without porn. After all, you did.
The response to “my kid’s watching porn, what do I do?” is—you talk about it. You ask lots of gentle questions. Your kid squirms. You explain stuff. You squirm. No one’s comfortable talking about this. You talk anyway. That’s what parents do—they talk about subjects even when they’re uncomfortable.
Just like kids need media literacy, kids need porn literacy. They need to understand that they’re watching actors playing roles, not documentaries. They need to understand that just as Glee and Harry Potter are edited, so are porn films. None of these media products is an accurate portrayal of real life. For example, porn usually omits two crucial parts of sex—the feelings and the talking.
Read More at Sexual Intelligence >>

0 comments:

Post a Comment